Timeline of Events Leading Up to RED SLED DOWN
- 1142 - Norwegian settlers discover a remote island off the coast of modern-day Iceland in the Arctic Ocean. It is named Danskfjord, or “Suicide Cliffs.” Locals avoid the island, fearing it to be cursed.
- 1921 - Eccentric industrialist Darrow P. Vanderhoof notices the unmarked island on a map of the waters around his Arctic yacht. On a whim, he picks it as the test island for his concept Christmas village: Pine Breeze, A Merry Place to Live!
- 1930 - Darrow issues a cryptic statement announcing his retirement from Vanderhoof Industries, saying he needs “more time to spend with what I’ve found on the island.” He finally gives the go-ahead to work crews to begin building Pine Breeze.
- 1947 - Construction on Pine Breeze is delayed for over a decade by Darrow’s endless perfectionism and insistence on redesigning the subterranean areas himself. After WWII, a friendly senator loans Darrow a corps of Army engineers, which he uses to finally finish his Christmas utopia. In the end, a mixture of Christmas-obsessed Americans, Scandinavians, and criminals fleeing extradition buy out the entire housing supply in a single afternoon.
- 1953 - The village is shocked by an expose in the New York Times, which alleges that Vanderhoof Industries had covered up a number of health code violations and issues of substandard construction in Pine Breeze. Many victims with “snowflake lung,” caused by the village’s use of asbestos-containing fake snow, form a class action suit against Darrow. Surprisingly, only a small number of the plaintiffs choose to move out of the village, citing their personal “love for Christmas.”
- 1961 - The final residents of the village are forced to leave after a spill of industrial waste (intended for the disposal vault on the island’s north peak) renders the air and earth toxic to humans.
- 1972 - A CBS special report, “Christmas Village… Or Suicide Village?” briefly reignites interest in the island. Several made-for-TV movies are rushed into production, including one titled “I Left My Heart in the Breeze (Pine),” starring a then-unknown B-actor named Ronald Reagan.
- 1980 - A group of radical Icelandic and Norwegian artists, “Collectivø,” lay claim to the abandoned island in an elaborate combination of performance art and property squatting. Within weeks, the entire group are found dead of causes unknown. A posthumous EP is published under the title “THE.VAULT.”, based on recordings left by several of the group’s artists before their demise.
- 1994 - The Norwegian PM declares that, based on Norway’s interpretation of an old treaty, Danskfjord belongs to Norway. An indignant Iceland responds by forming a naval defensive perimeter around the island. In turn, Norway blockades the Icelandic blockade with their own. After years of uneasy detente, the matter is settled amicably: both nations agree that neither should settle Danskfjord, instead declaring it a forbidden site with the intention of using the entire island as a chemical and nuclear waste dump.
- 2001 - Darrow J. Vanderhoof IV tenders an all-cash offer for the island to both nations (who never got around to using it anyway). In a press release, Darrow declares he plans to “fulfill his father’s vision.” An army of workmen build a cutting-edge “smart mansion” at the heart of the decayed village, a walled compound from which Darrow has never left.
- 2018 - An increasingly-paranoid Darrow places the island on “permanent lockdown,” enforced by a team of highly-paid mercenaries from GRINCH squad.
- December 24, 202X - Santa’s sled is shot down during a pre-Christmas test flight. Wounded and captured by GRINCH mercenaries, he finds himself trapped in Pine Breeze, placing the fate of Christmas in jeopardy…